Learning to love yourself is one of the greatest loves. Many say you are thrust into this world loving yourself. Truth is, self-love is acquired over time. It is a learned act. Something one must work at. May sound strange right? But the fact is we were not born with such skills. Just as we have to learn to walk, talk, and read, self-love is a learned act.
Let me ask you something. Have you looked at yourself and thought horrible things? Have you beaten your own self up? Are you unhappy with you?
FACT: Learning to give yourself love is a daily journey.
I must admit learning to love myself has been a journey. It has been scary, painful, and traumatic at times but Ohh Ohh so glorious when I got to the other side of loving myself. In my 20’s it was a hurricane of confusion and hormones. 30’s – I gained knowledge because I sought after it, and my 40’s well, I love myself more than before, but I’m still working on it. I actually can’t wait to hit the 50’s cause they say that’s when it all clicks and becomes clear.
Life happens. That voice in your head happens. I have a name for my voice. Would you like to hear about her? Well, her name is “Shurla”. She wears sequin pink hot pant, a white tank top, gold red bottom pumps, big gold chunky necklace, a handful of bracelets, huge rings and walks around with a cigarette in her hand blowing smoke in my face; while she is talking crap to me, about me.
They say with age comes the assurance of self, but it’s a life long journey. You have society fighting you because you don’t fit a certain mold of beauty. You have life struggles on a daily basis. Let’s not forget about “The Voice” fighting you. There is a shame associated with talking about loving one’s self. I’m here to say, don’t be ashamed… Stand in your truth… This is the only way to grow! This is the only way to finding happiness and love of self. Actually, sometimes you may have to remove yourself from a friendship or relationship in order to move forward. It is hard to make these decisions but to be the best you- for you, there may not be any other choice. As we grow, stretch and transform we are no longer can relate to others who want to remain stuck in life. People are truly in your life for a time and a season.
Here are a few tips to help on your journey to self-love:
– Fill your love tank daily- Everyday tell yourself one marvelous thing you love about you. For example, “I’m a great mom.” “I’m a great listener.” “I have a beautiful smile.”
– Create an uplifting place for yourself– inspiring music, bright colors, or opening a window to let the cool breeze come in. For me, the ocean is my all time happy place.
– Stop comparing yourself to others. You are uniquely created by God. Revel in IT!!!
–Embrace it – “if you don’t like it then do something to change it. Don’t talk about it, DO IT!” ~Dhylles Davis
– Marvel at your awesomeness- “Look in the mirror and look at yourself internally, instead of externally.” ~Dhylles Davis
– Each day do something outside of your norm. Doesn’t have to be extreme- it could be wearing bright colored lipstick, or trying a different type of food. My favorite thing to do is polishing my toenails bright happy colors in the winter time.
–Create an inner circle of love– Spend time with supportive and uplifting people.
– Live in appreciation – Be grateful and appreciate your talents, beauty, and brilliance.
Self-love means accepting yourself, flaws and all. There is truth in the statement that says “no one will love you more than you love yourself…the first sign of real love from another is acceptance, so shouldn’t you be the first to accept yourself so that others will follow suit”
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